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What do you do when the love is gone?  You remember the days when you dreamed big dreams, but somehow they never came to pass. You remember a time when you ran the race for God, but now find that it only left you exhausted. You remember when you once felt an all-consuming passion for God, an indescribable joy in salvation, but now the fire that once seemed to overflow from your soul seems to have finally burned itself out. You remember your youth when it seemed that anything was possible for the glory of God, but now you look back on your life and feel like you gave it your best, but somehow it just wasn’t enough.

Apparently, that means its time to repent:

[Y]ou have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from were you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first.

Talk about kicking a guy when he’s down. Actually, what makes Jesus’ report card to the church in Ephesus so discouraging is that it’s not actually all bad. Ephesus isn’t a bad church: it just sets a new standard for mediocrity. Works: check; endurance: check; theology: check. Love: not so much. They talk the talk, they walk the walk, but their heart isn’t really in the right place, so they get a firm rebuke.

But if Ephesus, which had least persevered in doing works, gets a slap-down for lacking love, what are we to do when it feels like even persevering is beyond us? I know, I know, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Great quote, but let’s be real, none of us actually feels that way all the time. We all go through seasons when it just feels like this is too much for us. We grow tired. We grow weary. And even the love we once felt seems to grow cold. What are we to do then?

If you know, please post in the comments, because I sure don’t.

But I do find it interesting that we are still called to “repent.” It seems rather backwards, since I find that most people prefer the highs of the faith to the lows. Most people would rather be on fire for God than not, would rather overflow with love than be indifferent. We wish we still felt the passion and hopes that we once did, and regret that we’ve lost it. So to then be called to “repent” for being in the doldrums seems like blaming the victim.

And yet, I can’t help but feel like perhaps there’s something to it. It does seem that a pattern emerges, in which a sincere love for God leads to a desire to do great things for God. A desire to do great things for God creates a desire to work hard for God. But with time, and without focus, the “for God” clause gradually fades to a platitude rather than a motivation. We continue to strive, but somewhere along the way the love that drove it at first hollowed out. We try to do the same great things we once did, but somewhere it became a duty, or a job, or because people expected it of us, or because we expected it of ourselves. The works became the end, rather than the means to an end. We lost the love.

And after all, love was the whole point all along. Love for God, love for neighbor, and God’s love for us. And without love, all out works are just a bunch of noise (mad shoutout to 1 Corinthians 13).

But fortunately, Jesus doesn’t just rebuke us and denand repentance. He gives us some helpful advice: Remember. Remember when you were first saved. Actually, it seems that “Remember” is a fairly common command in the Bible, this in particular reminds me of 1 Corinthian 1:26 (“[T]hink of what you were when you were called. . . .”).

I’ve been remembering a lot lately. Because the thing is, speaking only from my own experience, so often when we lose the passion, it’s because our focus has become centered on us. Even if I claim it’s all for God, in my heart I’m far more concerned about how I’m measuring up, either to the world, to my colleagues, to my friends, or to myself.

The point of remembering is not just to remember the love you once had and beat yourself up over losing it. Rather, it’s to remember why you once felt that way. You remember how faithful God has been to you. You remember where you were when He saved you, what He did in your life.  You reflect on how He loved you, healed you, and all the mighty works He has done in your life.  And most of all, you remember how He has loved you, to the point of sending His only son to die on your behalf.  When you find yourself lamenting that your passion has dimmed, remember why you fell in love with God in the first place.
You may still feel exhausted. And you may stay in the valley for awhile. But at least your eyes are back on their proper object: God Himself. And that’s always the first step in turning around.